FEELINGS

Expressions are not the mirrors of one’s feelings. They just vaguely show what a man is feeling inside. A person may feel very much more than what he can express. Trust me, I know from my own experience that you can’t always express what you feel deep inside you because of various reasons like compulsion, not finding suitable words or expressions etc. On the other hand, there are people who can express even more what they feel. So, you can never judge what someone is feeling just by their expression.

When I was little, I was very expressive; expressing even the slightest of emotions due to which I laughed and even cried often. But, as time passes by, you experience things in life which cannot be explained by words or emotions, and thus, they become supressed.

Have you ever felt that you have forgotten each and everything in the world(like you are having an amnesia attack)? I have. Sometimes I forget what i am doing or where i am going completely. The feeling is out of this world. You feel free; without pain, without misery, without tears and even without joy. ts like you have all the feelings inside you but none of them seem to work. But the feeling doesn’t last long as soon I recall what I was doing and get back to it.

Have you felt lonely in a crowd of friends all surrounding you, talking to you and when everyone is enjoying? I have. You feel like you have no friends and no enemies. It feels like you are alone in this world; searching for a person who can make you feel like you have someone there for you every time. You feel hollow and incomplete, like something is always missing. This is what i feel and believe it or not, expressing it is no easy matter. I’d consider myself a failure even if you understood my feelings because I haven’t understood most of them myself.

Have you ever felt love; Deep love for someone? Someone you think you can spend your life with, but you couldn’t express it in any way? I have. People always say flowers, candies, sweet words etc. are the best way of expressing love but you just cant find the perfect way of doing so. The passion of just loving her(and yes, i am a boy), the feeling of being with her, the grandeur of just talking to her is unexpressive; and i really doubt if the worlds largest library could give it the perfect words.

Have you ever felt that you have lost your Identity? Have you ever felt that you are nothing and the world is fake; that your point of living is nothing and it would all disappear one day? I have. It’s a feeling of great superiority, great power and great joy or sometimes its a feeling that just melts away your chest leaving you hollow and barren from the inside.It would be quite easy if we could feel each other wouldn’t it? It’d make it easier to understand and trust people, wouldn’t it? Have you ever felt anger great enough to kill your soul from the inside and just blow out tearing your flesh? I have. It’s somewhat a mixture of fright, pride and power. It’s hard to suppress these feeling and when it gets out of hand, it can act like a magnifying glass burning everything under the sun of rage.

Have you ever felt that you are special; like you have something that others don’t(like an idea, a thought, creativity, beauty, an identity etc.)? I have. It’s like a feeling no other. It gives you motivation to live life,it gives you an ambition, and it gives you the push you need to carry on with anything you have lost hope on. Have you ever felt that everyone expects from you more than what you can give? Your parents and teachers expect you to work blood and bone and yet they want you to enjoy it. This feeling of being dominated,weakened, and humiliated combined can really destroy you from the inside one day.

There are many feelings in life I can’t(and i think I will never be able to) describe. I can’t describe how sorry I was when I made a girl cry in the sixth grade; how angry I was before I punched a friend in the face to bleed in the ninth grade; how shy and happy I was when a girl kissed me in the eighth grade; how excited and nervous I feel when waiting for my exam results; or how envious I feel when sometimes I feel that my brothers get more love than me from my parents.

Yet again, I wont be able to describe my feelings when I get married, have children and all the other experiences I go through in life. So, I say again that expressions are just a vague image of what a person really feels and what I wrote here is also the same.

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