There are a lot of times when there comes a situation (especially when the exams are near)when I hear the following phrase from one of my friends:
“Oh Yeah..You don’t need to study, you know it all.. you’re a genius..”
And I start wondering if they really understand how hurtful that comment is for me. I mean first of all, I could never in my whole life “know it all”. And the things that I know is because I study them or because I show a keen interest in them. Well, that’s the obvious part, but that’s not the thing that’s hurtful.
One of the first thing you observe while talking to a person is the tone they’re speaking in. And every time that I have heard this, it has always been in a tone that would imply that it has been something I achieved from birth. And it really makes me think about everything I’ve had to sacrifice to become what I am today. I mostly imagine up a scenario where I’m telling them what I really feel…
“Hey.. You think I know it all? Well.. I don’t.. And the fact that I “may” know more than you on a certain subject is because I practiced more. I STUDIED. And do you know what I had to sacrifice for that? Remember all the high school days when you guys were hanging out at clubs? I was at my home doing my homework (and sometimes even yours).”
I achieved better grades at the cost of having bad social skills. Sometimes I think I’d trade places with them just to see how its like to be them. Just to know if it was worth it.
“Remember the classes when you were busy texting or calling someone up on your cell-phones? or the times you were busy chatting up your girlfriend during lectures? Well.. I was paying attention then. I was listening and taking notes. I understood at the beginning of what they taught us and now I don’t have to waste my head reading the chapters again and again just to know what its about. I don’t need to mug up now just because I paid more attention to studies then.”
But, what’s the use. They’d never understand it the way I feel. I’d never be able to express it in words anyway.
“Take it this way.. You’re very good at playing the guitar, right? (I really suck at it because I never tried it. But I’m learning now.) Well.. What if I told you that it was your birth-talent? What if went ahead and said ‘You don’t need practice.. You’re a genius.’? I assume you’d be looking at me all crazy.”
And now when I’m writing this, I realise how hard it is to tell them how you really feel about something. But hey, I assume they’re smart enough to understand what I’m trying to say. And if they’re not.. well what can you do?
“What I mean to say is, don’t comment on a person about such stuff. It seems more like sarcasm when you call someone a genius or a know-it-all. I know I don’t study much these days and yet I get better grades than you, but its just because I built myself a strong foundation when I was at school. And sometimes I think I’d be better off a normal person who could stop thinking whenever he wanted to. A person who didn’t take every thing and analyse it through logic. A person who knew how to talk to other people without getting them irritated. But hey, I am what I am. And you are what you are.”
Yep this is where I start losing the main focus of what I really wanted to say and just wander off.. So I’ll just stick to the main stuff.. I really don; know why the comment seems hurtful to me but it really does. Maybe I’m just that crazy. Whatever it may be, comments like these will always end up making me think “What if I had been out with friends instead of being inside? What if I had got along with people instead of getting along with books? Would it be good different or bad different? Would it even be different at all?”