Why I will not have a girlfriend

When she asks me how her new haircut is,
I would start wondering about hair in general
About how and why animals have hair
About why people would like to style it in the first place
I would start wondering why it is –
that cancer victims lose all their hair in chemo
“I think I should look for the answer in the internet”
I’d blurt out forgetting the context of our conversation

When she would want to go to a cinema,
I would start telling her how staying home is better
How we can watch a movie at home, pause and replay
How popcorn’s cheaper and we can cuddle better
How we could play the same scene back over and over
Until we finally understood the joke or what the person was saying
And it’s already too late for me to understand
Why she wanted to go out in the first place

When she’d tell me that she had good news
That her brother’s passed an examination in flying colors
And I would start analysing how more people pass these days
I would wonder on how our education system is static
How the same questions are repeated each year in exams
And how cheating was now considered to be “not bad”
How unemployment was getting to be a serious problem
And she would look at me all angry and disappointed

When she’d tell me that someone close has died
And expect me to say something comforting,
I would not tell her that the person is in a better place
My mind would be filled with jokes and laughter
and if I knew the dead person, with some memories
I couldn’t however pretend that I was sad
Or cry crocodile tears for the death of someone
I’d hope he donated his body to a hospital somewhere
Even though I know that it was far from the truth

When she’d hint that she likes me and wants to date
I would know that it was a hint months later
When she’s already lost interest and moved on
I’d wonder how I would have reacted if she’d just told me
Instead of giving obscure hints and references
Wouldn’t it be easy just to tell someone you like them
Rather than ponder if they like you too
But it’s always too late and she’s too far gone

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